i might be wrong

It had to be done.

digitaltammi.com has been resurrected. I would love to say I'm back and better than ever or that this blog is new and improved. I guess that could be true if you squint your eyes and turn your head sideways. I'm back but ain't no better.

I think I started this blog back in 2001. I was 20 pounds lighter. I was a road cycling warrior. I tore up the streets on my roller blades. I could not be stopped. It's 2007 and things have changed. To my dismay I became one of those women who finds a good man and then lets herself go. It had to be said. I just let myself go. It may have been an unconscious decision, but I did make a choice to stop exercising. I never really ate right, so at least I can't beat myself up for that. In fact, I've eaten better since being with Clay. The man can cook. He loves to feed me and I love his food. If only I'd kept up the exercise. I guess I got lazy.

At the end of 2006, I found myself a whopping 165.5 pounds. I saw it happening, but I couldn't believe it was happening to me. It was like watching some other me go through this transformation. Those were not my thighs rubbing together on a hot August day. That wasn't my belly being strangled in my favorite pair of jeans. That wasn't my ass growing so wide I could no longer fit into the middle seat on the subway. That was some other chick.

Several things occurred in the last few months to make me realize it was time to lose weight. Late last year some delivery guy asked me if I was pregnant. I met my sister one day and she poked me in the belly and said, "What's this!" I was hanging out with my mother and she said, "Wow, Tammi with a stomach. Get outta here." My boss' mother came to the office and found me in the kitchen and she said, "I should have known you'd be by the food." I tried to take up running last year, but I kept eating heavy food so I never lost weight and I felt horrible whenever I went for a run. Time for a change.

I'm happy in my relationship and happy that I have a man who likes to cook because I hate cooking but I'm not happy about the 35.5 pound weight gain.

On January 2, 2007 I decided to take action. I would start a diet and exercise plan and stick with it. It would be a lifestyle change. I started the South Beach diet and started running several times a week and so far I've lost 15.5 pounds. Don't congratulate me. I still have 20 more to go and I want to drop them before my birthday.

In hindsight, the first 15.5 pounds were not so hard to lose. I haven't slipped (had a couple of close calls but Clay saved me from myself) and I've followed the rules. I've kept up the running for the most part, even running in the cold. I've run two 4 mile races, improving my time to a personal record of 41:28 in the last race. But I'm starting to feel burnt out. I'm tired of salad for lunch and dinner. I'm tired of running in the cold. I'm tired of foregoing pie and cake when there's a celebration. I'm tired of being the only one out of my dinner pals who is making healthy choices. I'm tired of following the rules.

I know this is temporary and I'll get over it. Just need to vent.

I've lost 28 pounds since January 2nd. I had hoped the weight loss would happen fast and I'm really happy with the way I look. Someone just told me I look really slim. I love those compliments.

Just 7 more pounds left.

I did treat myself yesterday. After running 9 miles on Saturday, I blew off Sunday's Thomas LaBreque Classic and slept in a bit. Clay and I had brunch at Dressler in Williamsburg and I cheated on the diet a bit. You see, Dressler serves a pastry plate, but when Clay ordered it he didn't realize he was getting an entire plate of pastries. He thought he had a choice of the pastries and asked about the donuts. What he ended up getting was 2 home made donuts, a slice of almond cake, a croissant, and 2 mini lemon and poppy seed muffins. I couldn't resist the almond cake and didn't stop at 3 bites. I then had half of a mini muffin. Oh, and a piece of the biscuit that came with Clay's fried chicken. The biscuit wasn't so good. Neither was the muffin. That almond cake had something going for it, though.

I indulged at lunch, too. We hung out at Spike Hill and I had a half of a grilled cheese with tomato and bacon sandwich. It was on white peasant bread. Yes, it was worth the calories. Then I had 3 pieces of dark chocolate. Dark chocolate is allowed, but I'm to limit myself to 2 pieces. I was good at dinner. Fish and a salad at Dumont. It was pretty great.

It's not like I do this everyday. I've been really good and have been strict on the diet so a little indulgence won't hurt. However, tonight after work I am running 6.2 miles to make up for what I ate yesterday. Not punishment. Just want to stay on track. I've lost about 1 and a half pounds a week since starting the diet and I want to keep it up.

I feel good, but I'll feel even better once I drop the last 7 pounds. Now is not the time to cause a stall.

...on the last 6 pounds.

A few weeks ago I posted about having 7 pounds to lose until I reach my goal weight. Well, it's been a few weeks and I've only lost 1 more pound. Unacceptable, I say.

I'm swearing off carbs as much as possible for the next few weeks. The only kink in the plan is Tokyo. Can I get away with not eating rice or noodles over the 10 days we're there? Unlikely.

So what to do? What will my war plan be? What's the secret weapon?

Running.

I'm going to run every day while we're in Japan. At least 4 miles. I'll need to get a long run in there, too of at least 10 miles. I'll get up early and run, even if I have to run around dodging people on the sidewalks and on the streets, I'll run. I'll get to know the back streets. (And seeing the Tokyo streets mapped out on my Garmin is going to be so cool.) If I have to run on the boring ass treadmill, I'll do that, too. And I fuckin hate treadmills.

The war can not be won by running alone so I'm going to implement a simultaneous food offensive. I'll limit my portions, especially on the carb and protein front and eat a lot of fruits and veggies. No dessert. Very little sake drinking. Absolutely no beer. Lots of tea. And no fried foods.

I can do this. I just need to put the work in. I've taken it easy the last couple of weeks. I've had cake and cookies. I ate that biscuit at Amy Ruth's. I've had a lot of barbecue. I was just coasting. That was exactly the wrong thing to do. I was hoping to go into this trip with all the extra weight gone. I still have work to do.

I'm calling you out, 6 pounds. Get ready to get your ass kicked.