i might be wrong

Drink more water.

Words of wisdom I would have been wise to follow yesterday. After a great start, I ended up finishing in 1:07 because during the race I felt dizzy and had to stop running. I hadn't had enough water. I was hell bent on running my fastest 10K and I succeeded, but it would have been a sweeter victory had I not had to stop running due to dehydration. I finished the race, but at about 3.5 miles, I was really feeling light-headed. I had to take several walk breaks. I'm lucky I finished at all.

In good news, my knee held up. It hasn't really been bothering me since Friday. I went for an easy 3 mile run on Saturday and was able to run the 10K on Sunday. My goal is to run 20 miles a week for the next 4 weeks to have a solid mileage base so I can begin training for the marathon.

I haven't decided whose training plan I will follow, but I'm leaning towards Dr. Timothy Noakes who wrote "The Lore of Running". His book is the training bible for coaches so I figure I can't go wrong by following his advice. I'm supposed to do a 3 mile run today. I don't have my running stuff with me at work today, so I guess I'll be running after I get home. I hope my legs hold up. They're a bit sore. That's what I get for not stretching.

After my performance in Sunday's 10K, I've been obsessing about running faster. I mentioned in a previous post that I promoted myself to running with the NYRR Advanced Intermediate Group in my quest for speed. Perhaps I was a bit rash. Last night I could not complete the workout. We did half-mile speed drills from 99 to 102 Street across the transverse. The first time out I was behind the coach in the Advanced Intermediate group. We ran it in less than 4 minutes. Needless to say, I didn't make it past the 102nd Street transverse on the way back. I dropped back a group. Coach Shelly Glover's group. I don't recall the time. I stayed behind her though. Then we ran a set back up to 102 and across again. Fine, but I tanked on the way back. I didn't make it back down to 99 without stopping. I ran slowly back to the school with a guy named Ernie. He was able to stick with Advanced Intermediates during the workout but was having a hard time running back to the school. Nice guy, that Ernie. I told him we'd help each other back without stopping. We made it.

Depression set in. I was ready to drop everything last night. The half marathon on the 14th. The marathon training. Running. The diet. Why am I doing this? Some quest for perfection?

Well, I'm trying to get over it now. Trying to put it all in perspective. I am still a beginner. I have never run further than 13 miles. I am not going to be really fast yet. That will come in time. My average pace for the 10K was 10:55. That isn't great, but it's not terrible. I need to stop comparing myself to other people. Betty Eng ran the race and she did it in 49 minutes. I felt like such a loser when I found that out. I was all proud of my time but now I feel like a chump. Well, I need to get over that. Betty's been running for a long time. I need to stop comparing myself to Kim, my co-worker who has run 8 marathons. I looked up her race times too and she runs at about an 8 minute pace. I need to stop comparing myself to Clarence. He told me he ran 10 miles last night at a 9:30 pace. I need to stop comparing myself to Bobby's girlfriend, Kathy. She runs 10 miles a day, everyday.

It's frustrating. I feel like I'll never get to that point. I feel like I'm stuck in place. But really, it is impossible that I won't continue to improve. I am faster and fitter than I was last year. I beat my previous 10K time and my previous 4 mile time. I have a goal to beat my previous half-marathon time. I will continue to make PR's. I will keep getting better.

So far, I have blown off cross-training this week and have not been out to run on my own. My last post had me going out to do 20 miles. That may not happen this week and it's ok. I need to get my head back into this game. Stick with the diet. Stick with the running. Small steps to the finish. It was stupid and ill-advised to go from 16 miles a week to 20 in just one week. That is just a recipe for injury. I should be adding only 1-2 miles a week. In a couple of weeks I will be at 20 miles a week — a good base to build up to the marathon.

I'll get there.

As far as the diet goes, I still haven't weighed myself. I'm a little afraid, truth be told. I don't want to be disappointed. What if I haven't lost anything? I know that is unrealistic since my pants are falling off me, but I'm still worried. And Clay is such a darling. He said I'm getting too skinny. I love that man. (Don't worry, baby. I won't ever lose my ass. It's here to stay. Even at my smallest, my butt pokes out.) But what if I'm only at 148 or 147? Would I be able to handle that? I feel like I should be at 145 by now. I can't even remember the last time I weighed myself, but I should have lost at least 5 pounds by now. And I haven't cheated on the diet at all. Three bites of sweet potato pie is totally allowed. As are beef ribs. Ugh! There I go obsessing again.

The Road Runner's finally uploaded a course map for next Saturday's Half Marathon. As expected, we will have to run up the gigantic hill in Prospect Park at the end of the race. There it is at Mile 10. I feel I may need a cheering section at the 10.5 mile point. There's no way I'll stop running if people I know are watching. I'm too proud.

It looks like we start at the beginning of the Coney Island Board Walk on W. 2nd Street, run to the end and double back until we get to W. 10th. Then we hit the streets at Surf Avenue and continue up Ocean Parkway all the way to Prospect Park. I've done this bike ride before. It only took me an hour from Bed-Stuy. I can plan on doubling that and then some for this race.

The course map is great. It details the water and Gatorade stations. Looks like there is a Gatorade station between miles 9 and 10. My diet doesn't allow me to drink juice, but I will have to make an exception for this race. I think they're serving Gatorade Endurance with has some sodium in it. I'll need that if I plan on finishing this race. And water. I need to drink lots of water. Now that I think of it, I haven't had anything to drink besides coffee today. I'd better go remedy that.

I've missed my yarn and my needles. Since moving house, I haven't really been able to knit, though I will confess, after unpacking my clothes the yarn wasn't far behind. Today I will to make a cowl with this moody blood-red yarn. It's superfine merino wool and it's divine. I'm still working on Clay's scarf, but this cowl is a subway project. The scarf has gotten so long that working on it on the subway is no longer an option.

I've been running since November 2005 and at that time I bought my first pair of real running shoes from The Super Runner's Shop in Grand Central Station. I was told that they're the best. Well, with all due respect to the Super Runner's Shop, y'all need to invest in some technology. It seems, I am not an overpronater as I had been previously led to believe by the good folks at SRS. It turns out I have a neutral running gait. That means I've been wearing those ugly, heavy Saucony MC5 Stabil's for no reason.

Today I went to Jack Rabbit Sports. I'd heard all about their treadmills that are hooked up to cameras but I didn't really believe I needed to be filmed to get a good pair of running shoes. It turns out, technology really is very useful when it comes to doing something as non-technical as running.

And it's a wonderful experience. I really felt like the sales guy listened to me. I was asked to take off my boots, roll up my pant leg and stand up. He looked at my feet and told me my feet looked pretty normal. Skinnier at the heel and wider at the toe. He asked me what kind of running shoes I wear now and how many miles I put in during a week. Then I was asked how I came to start wearing the MC5 Stabils. I told him the SRS put me on to them after a sales man watched me run. After the talk the JRS sales guy put me in a pair of neutral shoes that have no stability or motion control and asked me to run on the treadmill. Cameras in the back and the front of the treadmill filmed my running gait at a speed of 5.0 and 6.0. I ran for less than a minute and then we played back the recording.

I do not over-pronate. My feet don't even turn in a little. My running gait is normal. I did not need those stiff and heavy shoes afterall.

This is great news because now I can get a lighter weight running shoe and I have more options in terms of style. Maybe I'd be able to get some cooler looking running shoes, I thought. No such luck. Running shoes are ugly.

This is a picture of my new running shoes. When I opened the box and saw them I laughed and said, "There are a bit shiny, don't you think." The guy laughed and we started talking about why all running shoes are ugly. Do they have to be, I wondered. He guessed they had to because they are really all very ugly shoes. But I guess that doesn't matter if they feel good on your feet, right.

So I went with another pair of Saucony's — this time, The Triumph. They are roomy, have a lot of cushion and are oh so light. I can't wait to go for a run in them tomorrow morning.

I ran the Brooklyn Half Marathon and I really kicked ass. I had hoped to run it in 2:30, but I ran it faster to finish in 2 hours, 16 minutes and 42 seconds. I am shocked. I did not think I could run that far that fast. I felt FUCKING FANTASTIC the entire time on the run (except for that cramp just before mile 3).

And a great day, too. Sunny, blue skies not too cold. Great running conditions. The race started on the Boardwalk in Coney Island. I had the beach on one side and the rides and attractions on the other. Nathan's. The Go Carts. The Wonder Wheel. The Cyclone. It was all there and I couldn't stop smiling. While I was taking all that in Clay called out to me. He said, "Go Tammi!" I blew him a kiss.

After the Boardwalk it was into the streets. We ran up Ocean Parkway which is pretty flat. I made sure to stop at every water station and get some Gatorade whenever it was available. (Learned my lesson from the Scotland Run). That's the only time I stopped to walk. I'd grab a cup, walk briskly, drink it in small sips (so as not to induce more cramps) and then I'd be off again. I was waving at people and high-fiving people along the sidelines. At the turn to get off the highway Gnarls Barkley came on and I started singing out loud. "Out in the sun having fun and feeling free!" You said it Cee-Lo.

The miles seemed to fly by so easily. Damn, Mile 8 already! That was fast. I looked at the clocks at every mile marker and I was always around the same pace, around 10:30. I didn't pay that any mind, though. I was having fun.

I was excited to get to the park because I knew my friend Sarah would be there with her family. I had a slight moment of disappointment when I realized it was 9:43 and I was in Prospect Park already. I told her I'd be there by 10:30! I thought they'd miss me, but sure enough, Sarah, Matt and Kika and Maia were all there standing by the zoo. I saw them and ran over to them. I hugged Sarah and I screamed "I FEEL GREAT!" to her and she said she was proud of me and wished me luck going up the hill. Well, let me tell you about that big hill. It was nuthin'. I swear. I'm not bragging or being brave, but that hill was really no big deal. I took it. I'd run it before. I owned that bitch. It was over pretty quickly. Take it home!

Another mile around to about mile 11 and there was Clay. I saw him from far away and I got so happy. I had to stop myself from speeding up too much (save some for the finish). I blew him a kiss and told him I love him. He didn't hear me. He said, "See you at the finish line".

Not so fast. The course took us to an area of Prospect Park I'd never run through before on the Center Drive. I had no idea there were so many hills. I was not expecting those hills, but my legs and my heart were still in it. I took them all. I remembered my training. Kept my good form. Dug in with my elbows and kept a steady pace up those hills.

Between mile 12 and the finish, it was hilly as well. I kept on going. I wasn't about to stop and walk up a hill after I'd come so far. I kept my good form. Some guy who'd already finished and was walking back called out, "Good form! You're doing great." I sped up a bit. Almost there. The mile marker for 13 was in my sights. Then I saw Sarah again. I ran over to her and high fived her and sped up again. I saw the finish line. I had a moment of doubt that I wouldn't be able to sprint across the finish, but it was very fleeting. The people were cheering. I could see that finish line. The Roots were playing on my iPod but I couldn't hear them anymore. I couldn't hear anything. I just saw the finish line. I ran as fast as I could and I finished the race with my hands up in the air. Yes!!!!

Clay found me right away. He saw me coming in. He told me the clock said 2:21. I couldn't believe it. I was so happy and I felt so high. And then my friends were there. I saw Mandy. Then Fumiko and Alex came. And then Sarah and her family again. And Dorla and Kevin. Then Jason and January. And Denise was there. What a great feeling. Even though I didn't see them along the course, it was great to see them at the end. And then Clarence was there. He ran and finished it in an hour and 57 minutes!!!

Normally after a race all I want to do is eat and sleep. Everything was different yesterday. I went to brunch with my friends. Then we went for pedicures (where I got a really great back rub). Then we met up with Clay and Kevin and had drinks at Union Hall. Then dinner at Fette Sau in Williamsburg. The night ended with Kevin and Dorla coming over to hang out. I turned in early because I was tired.

Truly a memorable day. I ran my best race ever. Clay was there. My friends were there. I'll never forget this.

I've lost 28 pounds since January 2nd. I had hoped the weight loss would happen fast and I'm really happy with the way I look. Someone just told me I look really slim. I love those compliments.

Just 7 more pounds left.

I did treat myself yesterday. After running 9 miles on Saturday, I blew off Sunday's Thomas LaBreque Classic and slept in a bit. Clay and I had brunch at Dressler in Williamsburg and I cheated on the diet a bit. You see, Dressler serves a pastry plate, but when Clay ordered it he didn't realize he was getting an entire plate of pastries. He thought he had a choice of the pastries and asked about the donuts. What he ended up getting was 2 home made donuts, a slice of almond cake, a croissant, and 2 mini lemon and poppy seed muffins. I couldn't resist the almond cake and didn't stop at 3 bites. I then had half of a mini muffin. Oh, and a piece of the biscuit that came with Clay's fried chicken. The biscuit wasn't so good. Neither was the muffin. That almond cake had something going for it, though.

I indulged at lunch, too. We hung out at Spike Hill and I had a half of a grilled cheese with tomato and bacon sandwich. It was on white peasant bread. Yes, it was worth the calories. Then I had 3 pieces of dark chocolate. Dark chocolate is allowed, but I'm to limit myself to 2 pieces. I was good at dinner. Fish and a salad at Dumont. It was pretty great.

It's not like I do this everyday. I've been really good and have been strict on the diet so a little indulgence won't hurt. However, tonight after work I am running 6.2 miles to make up for what I ate yesterday. Not punishment. Just want to stay on track. I've lost about 1 and a half pounds a week since starting the diet and I want to keep it up.

I feel good, but I'll feel even better once I drop the last 7 pounds. Now is not the time to cause a stall.